Heh heh.

Pit bull, Red Bull, ahh crap--and pigs in lipstick.

I think I'm brilliant sometimes. Inspired by this brilliance, today I decide to create a horribly original visual joke by modifying Red Bull can art to read "Pit Bull" and have a picture of Sarah Palin. And maybe even further my brilliance with a slogan like "gives you teeeeth."

Then I wonder if someone else has had similar thoughts. A Googling reveals that there are already Pit Bull energy drinks out there (to be accurate, Pitbull and Pit Bull). Stupid getting-in-my-way people! (Or maybe brilliant richer-than-me people).

I'm going to go and cry in my Red Bull. And watch the news media continue to try to convince me that Barack Obama wasn't slamming Sarah Palin with his pig in lipstick comment. I believe it to be political strategy, albeit a complicated one: set up a situation where you use a cliche that others have used, make it obvious that it's a slam, but then use it as a means to cry about the media and those nasty Repubs and their extreme sensitivity-turned-fake-outrage, when you know darn well what their response will be. I find it so interesting that Obama takes a moment to be critical of the mostly left-leaning media and then criticizes the McCain campaign of "swiftboating." Why not just admit that politics is a nasty business, you're smack-dab in the middle of it, and you wanted to take a swing? There is no reason to bemoan the fact that the McCain campaign took a swing back if you admit your own leftist hook to Sarah Palin's jaw.

I think I'll start with ABC News--the headlines are usually entertainingly biased there. Then maybe a quick trip to MSNBC. I'll finish up with an antidote of Fox News, clinging bitterly to my guns, religion, and TV remote.

Why I'm in love with Sarah Palin

I couldn't be happier to see that John McCain has named Sarah Palin as his running mate. As someone who lived in Alaska for a short time, I heard about a lot of government corruption there. She is a hero for her handling of some pretty tough, entrenched politics within her own party. Going after fellow Republicans certainly didn't make her popular, but she stood up and won the hearts of Alaskans.

Her husband also races for Arctic Cat and she's been known to go ice fishing. I saw a great pic online of her shooting an M16 as she visited the troops in Iraq. These issues endear her to me, but perhaps are meaningless to others. Probably more important is that she puts her money where her mouth is on issues such as being pro-life in word and practice. I heard a pro-choice political pundit this afternoon say that while he differs in his political position on the issue, one cannot help but be warmed by her story. I know she isn't going to get the votes from Hillary supporters because Hillary supporters generally disagree on her pro-life stance. This sort of shuts down the argument that McCain just chose her to pander to women and former Hillary supporters.

Beyond the surface level, I love how the opposition party is citing her lack of experience when she is the only person of the McCain/Palin/Obama/Biden group who has executive experience and has actually run something (although McCain's military leadership should not be discounted). A week as a governor trumps a year in congress, as far as I'm concerned.

Another cheap shot that has been taken is that her husband works for big oil. A deeper look shows that she was perfectly willing to raise taxes on oil companies, and that she has advocated giving money back to the people of Alaska. Selling the former governor's airplane on eBay was a plucky move, too.

Go Sarah!

More small boats...

Adding to my collection of links for lightweight fishing kayaks:

www.nativewatercraft.com The Ultimate and Manta Ray look cool.
www.malibukayaks.com The Mini-X is promising here.
www.madrivercanoe.com The Synergy combines canoe and kayak features.
www.minnewaskakayaks.com A place near me to test drive kayaks.

Pandora's Tackle Box

I have been neglecting my Flog.

Today I had a good discussion with my Mythology students about Pandora, the mythical Greek prototypical woman who is very beautiful, but accompanied by myriad evils. And hope. At one juncture in our rambling discussion, I made reference to her box, which was probably more accurately translated as a jar. Anyway, I made the point that it could just as well have been her purse. Then we got into a discussion on why women carry purses and I mused aloud that I should probably carry a purse--why should it be the domain of women?

Then I realized I carry a purse for most of the summer. I step on the boat with one that says "Plano" on it every time I go fishing. Pandora's Tackle Box. Full of all kinds of distractions and contradictions.

So if the tackle box is the man-purse, what is the equivalent of high heels? Or childbirth? Or ... I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.

9 months

Yeah. For nine months I have neglected the Flog. I am going to attempt to remedy my absenteeism, inspired by a friend who reminded me that writing teachers should practice their craft.

With that, I will comment on the following, in no particular order or framework:

I am beginning to be addicted to CSI Miami. Horatio is cool. I used to have a Deadliest Catch addiction. Captain Sig was my hero. Horatio is my new Sig. As for an upstart reality show, *#&@ the Ice Road Truckers. They suck. Real men drive on the ice to go fishing, which is far more important than driving supplies to mines.

NASCAR: One of their championship contending teams, Joe Gibbs Racing, has switched to Toyotas. Reading the response from some of the folks on the messages boards at Nascar.com, one would think the apocalypse began at their news conference. I, for one, will continue to like Tony Stewart. Mainly because he swears at the media and doesn't care that it costs him thousands of dollars. And now he can swear in Japanese when his car breaks down. The culturally unaware NASCAR officials won't be able to understand and therefore won't fine him all the time. AND he can get a cool Japanese driving coach, a la Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid.

Boats: Why in the heck can't aluminum boat builders (hope Lund is reading this) approach a level of automotive quality in their wiring, finishing touches, gauges, etc.? My Lund doesn't even have a volt meter. This is an area where the bass boat builders really shine compared to the tin stuff. I'm practical. I like aluminum. But throw me a bone and build something that doesn't look like it's thirty years old! I guess now I have to atone for this. I'll go over to Lund.com and post to the Love My Lund butt-kiss-a-thon. I've been a little hard on Lund. I like my Lund better than any other aluminum boat I've been around, but the whole industry needs a wake-up call, especially now that the prices are so insane.

North Dakota: Why do we have to get on the map with news stories like the dolts who loaded nuclear warheads on a bomber by accident? I guess at least we don't have a toe-tapping Senator. Here I go again being hard on people. Lord knows I've made a few mistakes.

Favorite Energy Drink of the Moment: Jones Energy. A buck a pop at Wal-Mart. Could they reduce the size of can to the same as Red Bull and charge 60 cents for it, though? Energy drink should be in smaller cans than Coke, not larger. Another factor in the Obesing of America. My stomach is starting to look like a basketball because I was always taught not to waste anything. Darn parents and their upbringing.

Favorite Link of the Moment: www.thesmokinggun.com Where else can you celebrate Labor Day by viewing a slideshow of mugshots involving criminals in their work uniforms?

Enough for now. I'm hoping that more regular blogging can increase my coherence and help me purge the absurd nonsense that runs around my head like a centrifuge.

Is it interesting that it took me nine months to give birth to this nonsense that was growing in my rhetorical belly?

You Must Rock

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-323488677357801369&hl=en

A message encouraging everyone to rock.